March 1st, 2010
Every Monday, I take a look at the bad parts of the weekend in sports.
Well, this weekend, the answer is very obvious. Canada sucks.
More specifically, the Canadian National Hockey Team sucks. More specifically than that, Sidney Crosby sucks.
It wasn’t supposed to end like that. After Team USA scored with just over 20 seconds left in the third period to equalize, they were supposed to have all the momentum.
Team USA was the cinderalla story. They were a scrappy bunch of young guys who had destiny on their side. But then stupid Sidney Crosby had to ruin everything in overtime.
Team Canada was the bad guys. The bad guys aren’t supposed to win.
We were watching the plot for a perfect sports movie unfold before our eyes. But unfortunately, real life rarely plays out like the movies. The better team won.
And that sucked. So congratulations Team Canada, you were the low point of sports this weekend.
Honorable Mention goes to…NASCAR! As long as ESPN keeps wasting valuable SportsCenter time on this retarded half-sport, NASCAR will always be one of the sucky areas of the Sporting Weekend. Hopefully things will die down now that Danica Patrick is gone for a few months.
Tags: canada sucks, hockey, sindey crosby sucks, the Sporting Weekend
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February 23rd, 2010
With a 58-54 win over Elon last night, the Appalachian State men’s basketball team clinched the Southern Conference North Division. The Mountaineers last division title was in 2007.
The win gives the Apps the No. 1 seed in the SoCon Tournament. Appalachian will open the tournament Saturday, March 6 at 2 p.m.
Tags: Basketball
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February 22nd, 2010
Every Monday, I take a look at the bad parts of the weekend in sports.
This weekend, NBC demonstrated unparalleled suckitude in the sports world.
NBC has been heavily criticized for its poor handling of Olympic coverage to this point. They have made it incredibly difficult to watch live coverage of events online. They have shown important events on tape delay. In Canada, the host country, virtually no events are shown as they happen. No events are shown live in the Mountain or Pacific time zones. Dashiell Bennett of deadspin.com made an excellent point that NBC’s coverage is geared to the casual sports fan, not the hardcore fans.
NBC’s worst transgression yet came last night, when they broadcast the widely anticipated USA-Canada hockey game on their cable channel MSNBC.
NBC is so inept, they managed to put the most anticipated event of the Games on a channel where less people could see it.
And that sucked. Congratulations NBC, you were the low point of sports this weekend.
Tags: hockey, NBC sucks, the Sporting Weekend
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February 17th, 2010
Every Wednesday, I take a look at the worst officiating from the previous week.
This week, the R. William Jones Award for Horrendous Officiating goes to…Mike Eades, Bob Donato and Tim Kelly! Let’s give them a hand!
Eades, Donato and Kelly were the officials on the court for the Wake Forest-Virginia Tech game last night. Why do they deserve the award?
The three called 28 fouls on the Demon Deacons, resulting in 47 VT free throws. The Hokies shot 20 more free throws than the Deacs. The crew also called a very questionable technical foul on Chas McFarland. McFarland was probably called for the foul because of his reputation, not an action that occured on the court last night. They gave Malcolm Delaney a 3-pointer when his foot was clearly on the line.
Now, usually, this kind of home-court bias when it comes to officiating only occurs at Duke in the ACC. Why did it happen at Va. Tech? The Hokies were a clear NCAA Tournament bubble team before last night’s game. They lacked a signature win that would validate their resume and put them clearly in the tournament. A win over Wake would nearly assure the Hokies of dancing in March.
The ACC loves to see the max amount of teams make the NCAAs. Would they go so far as to rig a game to ensure an outcome they wanted? Could there be a conspiracy? I’m not saying…I’m just saying.
Honorable mention goes to the refs who worked the Kentucky-Mississippi State-Kentucky game last night. Their horrible calls late in the game and during the overtime (especially the goaltend that wasn’t called on John Wall) ensured that the Wildcats would win and stay in the running for a No. 1 seed. Those refs got what they deserved when the MSU crowd bombarded the court with water bottles and other debris.
Tags: Basketball, Horrendous Officiating, virginia tech, wake forest
Posted in Horrendous Officiating | 1 Comment »
February 15th, 2010
Every Monday, I will be taking a look at the bad parts of the weekend in sports.
This weekend, the answer is obvious: NASCAR.
I hate NASCAR. There is nothing I enjoy about it. It combines the over-the-top personalities of professional wrestling with all the excitement of watching old people play chess.
Last week, I was bomarded with advertisements by ESPN for the Nationwide Series race that featured Danica Patrick’s first NASCAR race. By Saturday I was ready to stick my head in an oven.
I was filled with joy when Patrick was in a wreck that ended her race. I laughed my head off at ESPN. They had invested so much money into pumping the race up, and then Patrick crashed and no one cared to watch anymore. Classic!
Then came Sunday and the Daytona 500. I loathe the Daytona 500 Sunday every year. It always comes right after the Super Bowl, so I am already depressed that football is over till August. Then I get more depressed because NASCAR coverage hijacks sports news for a day.
I was subjected to watching three rednecks talk about the race (and a stupid pothole) for the first 10 minutes of SportsCenter last night. I had to wait to watch highlights of the awesome Louisville-Syracuse and Georgetown-Rutgers games because of dudes with southern accents making left turns.
And that sucked. So congratualations NASCAR, you were the low point of sports this weekend.
Tags: boring sports, ESPN looking stupid, nascar, the Sporting Weekend
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February 10th, 2010
I consider myself a casual follower of the English Premier League. I am an Arsenal fan: I read about them on a regular basis and watch their matches whenever I can find them on TV (which isn’t that often since I don’t have Fox Soccer Channel).
I don’t follow the rest of the EPL that closely. That’s probably why this story caught me so off guard.
Portsmouth FC, which has been in existence for 112 years (including 33 seasons in the top division of British soccer), is on the verge of being shut down by the British government for massive financial problems.
Portsmouth is $94 million in debt. They have failed to pay their players on time on four occasions this season.
They are on their fourth owner this season! Fourth! How does that even happen?
But what really has the Blues in trouble is back taxes. Portsmouth owes Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs (the British IRS) £7.5 million (12 million dollars) in taxes.
Earlier today, the two sides met in a London court to decide the fate of the club. Portsmouth received a stay of execution and the trial was delayed a week.
If HMRC gets its way in court, Portsmouth FC will cease to exist. The club and all its assets will be liquidated.
Wow.
Tags: major bummer, portsmouth fc, premier league, Soccer
Posted in Soccer | 2 Comments »
January 27th, 2010
You think you are a man?
Read this story about Charlie Davies. You are not a man. No one is in comparison.
Davies is a striker for the U.S. National soccer team. Last October he was in a horrific car accident that left him with a lacerated bladder, a completely shattered leg, a fractured elbow and a broken face.
Recovery time was estimated to be at least a year, which would leave him out of the World Cup this summer in South Africa.
However, the doctors were unaware that Davies is a borderline superhero.
All of his broken bones have healed. He has recovered from all of his surgeries. He is already training and rehabilitating. He is confident he will be able to play in the World Cup.
Charlies Davies is no mere mortal. He can’t be.
Here is the craziest part. He has a scar that runs from ear to ear on top of his head.
How did he get the scar you ask?
The doctors peeled his face off to repair his broken bones. PEELED. HIS. FACE. OFF.
They took his face, and they rolled it back. For some time, he was without a face. THEY PEELED HIS FACE OFF! Are you getting the picture?
Jesus. Charlie Davies is in the wrong profession. He is not a soccer player. He was sent here to save us from something, possibly puppet Kobe and puppet LeBron.
Excuse me. I have to go make sure my manhood didn’t shrivel up and die after reading that story.
Tags: charlie davies, face peeled off, my manhood is gone, Soccer, world cup 2010
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January 26th, 2010
We, the human race, have angered the gods.
We must have. That is the only logical explanation as to why Nike’s Most Valuable Puppets ad campaign has been unleashed upon us.
I’m sure you have seen these commercials by now: they feature puppet Kobe Bryant and puppet LeBron James living together. Sometimes a random little kid puppet is with them and in the newest commercials there is a detective puppet.
I admit, I thought these ads were funny and clever when they first appeared in the lead up to last year’s NBA playoffs. But they have grown out of control. The commercials are everywhere now.
One of the latest ones features puppet Kobe leading some referees in a rap (”My name is Kobe, this is my shoe, I got me some, get you some too!”). Jesus, its seeping into my brain!!!
At this point, I am convinced that puppet Kobe and puppet LeBron are awful beasts spawned from hellfire that have come to destroy us. Just look into their eyes the next time you see one of the commercials; there is no soul behind those eyes.
Last night I was sitting on my couch trying to decide which ad campaign was a bigger crime against humanity: the Most Valuable Puppets or the Budweiser “Waaasssssup!?” commercials?
After five minutes of thinking, I just hit myself in the head with a frying pan. That was much less painful.
Tags: Basketball, puppets, television, the gods are angry
Posted in Basketball | No Comments »
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